Monday, May 18, 2009

Is guilt the strongest of emotions?

The global financial crisis has hit me of late. I look at my bank account and see red. It is not due to superfluous spending or a pay reduction, it just seems that life has become more expensive.

I, unlike many others am not in dire straits BUT I am still being forced to think about how I spend my money.

So this morning I stole my boyfriend's spare change to catch the bus and, I stole his $10 to buy my train ticket. Then when I got off the train I ran into Bill.

Bill is a Big Issue vendor who I have started a relationship with. It has been going on for about a year now and he always brightens my day. This morning however, I was compelled by guilt rather than goodwill to buy a magazine from him even though I couldn't afford it. As a result, I blamed him a little bit. He was still chripy & bright to me but I had lost some of the regular sparkle that I greet him with.

It is sad that I was driven by guilt to buy his magazine and am now wallowing in guilt for not taking the time to converse with him about his weekend.

So how do I tackle this guilt & how do I use it for a positive outcome? Suggestions will be readily accepted.

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